Me vs. the Beyoncé stans
- Me: *rocking the party, everyone's happy. already cycled through classic hip-hop, reggae, soul and house. Last call and lights up approaching.*
- Beyoncé stans: You HAVE to play some Beyoncé. We need Beyoncé right now.
- Me: No.
- Stans: *stunned silence*
- Me: Okay, cool.
- Stan 1: But WHYYY?!?
- Me: This is not the night for Beyoncé.
- Stan 1: *hurt face... deep thought*
- Stan 2: What about some Rihanna?
- Me: No.
- Stan 2: Can you play some dance songs? What about dance songs?
- Me: I already played dancehall.
- Stan 2: No... DANCE. SONGS.
- Me: .......
- Stan 1: We want to grind up on the dudes. We want to get freaky!
- Me: This is not the place for that. And I'm winding down my set.
- Stan 1: But this is the club!
- Me: This is not "the club".
- Stan 1: So what do you do here?
- Me: Hang out and enjoy the music.
- Stan 1: So you don't like Beyoncé? How can you not play Beyoncé?
- Me: It's not grown-up music. This night is for grown-up music.
- Stan 1: Beyoncé is not grown-up music?!!?
- Me: No.
- Stan 2: *pained facial expression of deep thought*
- Stan 1: Ok. That's fine. *absorbs alternate reality with stan buddy, walks away*
