trick or treat
- Dad:
- I'm dressing up as a senior citizen for Halloween.
- Me:
- Take a picture.
community college life
- Dad:
- My English teacher must be a pothead.
- Me:
- Ask him for a hookup.
- Dad:
- :-D
My mammy and pappy.
a loaded question
- Dad:
- Why do rappers hold their crotch?
- Me:
- I don't think they do that anymore.
- Dad:
- Kid Rock a rapper?
- Me:
- I guess.
he may need supervision
- Dad:
- I just realized I'm hard of hearing.
- Me:
- Welcome to our world.
- Dad:
- This is true. I got into a fight today and WON.
- Me:
- ?
- Dad:
- I fought the pizza delivery guy.
- Me:
- Ok...
Dad's new superpower
- Dad:
- I should have been warned on the cost of glasses.
- Me:
- Should be worth it.
- Dad:
- With my new very expensive glasses, I can see dead people more clearly.
- Me:
- Brilliant.
unrelated concerns
- Dad:
- A ghost just entered an elevator with me.
- Me:
- say Hi.
- Dad:
- I'm gonna audition for the X-Factor.
- Me:
- Win me some money.
texts on the eve of NC's Amendment One vote
- Dad:
- I just voted today. TEA PARTY FOREVER. YAY!!
- Me:
- You're senile.
- Dad:
- I was promised hookers.
- Me:
- Democracy at work.
Dad’s still going in on the Photoshop. He can’t be stopped. They should have never gave old doods community college.
Dad still got Photoshop on lean. This time, my sister.
